Well, what can I say? That session was probably one of the most horrifying moments of my life. It wasn't horrifying because of the machine or the sounds it made or anything like that, it was horrifying because I knew that this treatment would more than likely reduce my lung and heart efficiency/capacity because of where my tumour is. Yeah that probably sounds a bit of a weird thing to be 'horrified' of, but the truth is I was horrified of the effect this could have on me achieving my dreams.
If you don't know already I am a boxer, it's my absolute love and passion. As a matter of fact, if it wasn't for boxing I wouldn't be coping half as well I am with this cancer diagnosis and treatment. Furthermore, my lifetime dream is to become a World Champion, and we all know that boxer's have some insane super human fitness levels (like I did this time last year!) and it scares me so much that this reduction in heart and lung efficiency/capacity will stop me from reaching and achieving my dreams. This is what horrifies me - that my dreams won't come true.
However, I will bust my back to achieve my dreams and I know I will push myself the hardest I possibly can. I will get my fitness to the very best it can be - with the help of the terrific team at A.R.D. Training Camp - after all this is over; then the fitness which I lack, I will make up for with my boxing skills and heart. There's no way on this earth that I am going to give up.
After a few sessions the nervousness I was feeling today, which was causing me to twitch,will begin to fade and the process will seem much easier. The nerves began to lessen when I tried some psychology exercises and this whole process is going to make my mind so much stronger as it is, because I will be conquering one of my fears (hospital scanners/machines) every day.
I will read this post before each session and re-assure myself that I will become a Champion.
I will not stop chasing this dream. I have worked too hard and overcome too much to give it up.
I will achieve!
Remission, here I come!!!